I feel like I am falling behind

I am so envious of some of my peers.

The last couple of months went by like a breeze. I made around $50K USD selling random stuff to people, shitty MRI scans, and whatever else I could make move. On paper, that sounds like a win. Some days it even feels like one.

But then I look sideways. I see people building things that seem more serious, more coherent, more real. They have momentum that does not look rented. They seem to know what they are trying to become.

Maybe that is unfair. Everyone has a private mess behind the version of themselves that makes it onto the internet. Still, I cannot pretend I do not feel it. I feel late. I feel scattered. I feel like I am getting good at finding the next transaction without getting closer to anything I would be proud to stand behind.

Sometimes I worry I am becoming a grifter.

I do not know whether the answer is to stop making money, make something better, or just be more honest about the trade-offs. Probably none of those on their own. For now, I want to keep the feeling visible instead of covering it with another win.